I was asked how I dealt with Burnout. Thank you, I love this question!
I want to thank you for joining Silver Light Love Bootcamp. If you’ve joined this page your already engaged and aware that you’re on a path of “awakening to unconditional presence and self love”. I love your question! Your question about burnout can help us all become more aware of the choices we can make that will allow us to experience a greater sense of balance in our lives.
Finding balance in our lives is part of the journey we make on the path of awakening, and as such I invite you to see burnout as one of the rites of initiation offered from your inner guidance to bring you closer to the center of your being; unconditional presence.
Here is my story on how I have dealt with burnout…
In choosing to view burnout as a rite of initiation I was able to turn inward and embrace my choices as a sacred act of self love. As with most activity that I view as scared the lens through which I see myself is filled with love and compassion. This worldview of the self leaves little room for negative self judgment. Without all the negative self talk I’m able to look honestly at how I use burnout to avoid releasing habits that do not serve me, and my highest intentions for my life.
I came to see that burnout was a habit that I engaged in when my primary triggers; fear and lack would surface, and these two emotions always made me question my “am I good enough” trigger. The triggers would get activated, I would go into overdrive then make choices based upon the trigger, which would cause me to overextend myself ENERGETICALLY to the the point of exhaustion and set me up for burnout and/or illness.
Breaking the habit
To understand how I could alleviate burnout I had to accept responsibility for the choices I made. I was convinced that I was making good decisions for myself when in actuality my triggers (I like to call them my inner demons) were running the show. I had to look at my reasoning and I was surprised to find there was a reward factor for me. My reward’s (notice the s) brought me so much pleasure that for the longest time I only paid lip service to my intention to change my habits.
My Rewards for burnout
This is what I would do to reward myself when I got to a state of exhaustion from burnout:
I absolutely could not leave my house
no phone or internet
I gave myself extended time for bathing with home made essential oil
personal foot massages
uninterrupted movie viewing
long talks with my Auntie (she’s 80 years old),
nurturing foods (including my personal food indulgence popcorn)
The very best reward (drum roll please…..) I gave myself permission to stay in bed. Sounds like a personal home retreat right? Of course it really wasn’t. Exhausted, isolated and cut off from my inner and outer support I was unconsciously feeding my demons of fear and lack.
Breaking the Cycle
I was able to break the cycle when I began to “unpack” old feelings linked to my inner demons that were connected to an underlying belief that I wasn’t good enough. Avoiding these feelings created a patterns that became a habits. It’s like being on a merry-go-round. There is a point when spinning would take me so far from my center that I was unable to notice / feel the disconnect and I would call upon my Super Woman Self who shows up as my overdrive.
My Super Woman’s function is to compensate for my sense of disconnect by doing more and more. Flying high and moving fast, multitasking I had a false sense of being capable, and of course good enough. After all I was in service to Spirit, and others were benefiting from my work. Then BAMM I would hit “the wall” lose my momentum and enter into the downward spiral into burnout! Wow, as I write I feel like I’m talking about an addiction!
Unconditional Presence in Action
Thank you inner guidance and my unrelenting commitment to heal myself and live connected to and through my own presence and self love. I realized that If I continued to live connected to an underlying belief that questioning my core self about my worthiness and what I call my “noughness” I would continue to put myself in a position where I would have repeatedly prove to myself and the world that I AM good enough.
Coming clean with my inner demons that caused me to question my “noughness” helped me to see how I had created a relationship with burnout to justify my need to take time off to nurture myself. I came to see that relating to myself from a deficient view didn’t allow any room for me to acknowledge that perhaps I needed more time off then what I was allowing.
How I helped myself
For the first time in the 27 years that I have been in private practice I have a regular time on my calendar for lunch everyday. I know longer try to fit myself into my life. I honor my days off, Sunday and Monday. I have a weekly no-tech day (Sunday). I daily mediation practice, I take walks, I make time to sit in my garden, I give myself time to day dream. An essential part of my daily practice is that I wake up every morning and I say YES to life. I open to flow of love and affirm that I am a strand within the interconnected web of Life. My YES opens me to new experiences of life and keeps me out of resistance to what appears to be counter to the loving presence I want to be in the world.